Sunday, January 31, 2010

A little bit of married gal wisdom...

For years I have listened to my girlfriends complaining about wanting their husbands/boyfriends to do something romantic for Valentines day, Anniversaries, birthdays or just random romantic gestures..They plot, conspire with one another on ways to drop hints and strategic billboards  " I WANT THIS, DO THIS, COURT ME".  The conversation with one friend saying to me "I wish he'd buy me Flowers and a card for Valentines Day" and me replying " Do you want me to drop a hint to him?"  tossed around in my head consuming my sleeping thoughts...I woke up with a mission WHY? Why do we have to drop hints, plot, conspire and turn to our girlfriends to nudge our men into Romantic gestures? Everyday life pushes and pulls us... marriages fall into routine ruts...we become robotic spouses like room~mates living together meeting for meals and hey if we are lucky sex once in awhile...taking each other for granted and hopefully not drifting too far apart..Marriages fail too much statistics back this up.  How many marriages would be saved with a little effort from both spouses..Marriages like all relationships have stages of course the honeymoon stage is always the best everything is all lovey dove and rosey...but when you move on to the stages in the marriage that actually have depth where you have to work, deal with money, children, responsibilities yes real life. Marriages crumble you have 2 choices in a marriage grow together or grow a part...As a marriage grows it needs nurtured if you neglect it and don't tend it or pay attention to it then it will grow in all different directions like a rampant weed..not like the climbing rose it could be..So why not take a stance and actually work on your relationship. A good relationship like a climbing rose needs a trellis to climb the bigger and sturdier the trellis is the beautifuler fuller the rose will grow...My hope is to create a beautiful and full marriage for myself leading the example for my friends and for my own daughters in their marriages and relationships...So to get started you have to acknowledge you want better out of your marriage..when you begin to walk on any garden path there is always a first stepping stone to lead you...
Step one bring back some of the honeymoon period...The joy of dating and courting: what your wife/girlfriend doesn't tell you but tells her girlfriends. She wants romance and not just on Valentines day but it's a good time to start...
See women show men love by cooking, making your house a home, loving your children and taking care of your laundry...Women want Flowers, Chocolate, Jewelry and mushy cards proclaiming your love for us.
You don't need to break the bank we don't need all those things..mix and match or even one of those with a loving gesture cook a romantic dinner or surprise her with take out (always let her know not to make dinner if you are bringing something home) clean up the house do a chore she hates...Valentines day is on a Sunday this year ...if you have kids light some candles in the bathroom about 11AM Saturday fill up the tub with hot steamy water and bath salts or bubbles lay out a fluffy towel kiss your wife shove her into the bath room get your kids and take them to lunch at McDonalds ...read the paper while they play at playland take some pics of your kids on your blackberry stop by the grocery store and pick up something for dinner and be prepared to woo your wife on Valentines Day...Walmart & Grocery stores sell Dozen roses year long for $14 or less Skip the vase and florist shops..pick up clear vase at the store and keep it filled with flowers all year long..
The dollar store & Walmart sell wonderful cards $1 or less thinking of you, love you as well as for all those Hallmark Holidays...Court your wife you might just like the results you get..
OH AND WHEN WE SAY WE DON'T WANT THESE THINGS OR NOT TO WASTE MONEY ON THEM WE ARE LYING..WE WANT YOU TO BUDGET THEM IN SOME HOW THROUGH OUT THE YEAR..GOOD LUCK BOYS...
The truth is we aren't mind readers communication is important women and men do not speak a different language...Speak up people tell each other what you want and need out of a relationship you might actually have a better marriage because of it...
I am just another married gal ..my life is not perfect, like any marriage mines a work in progress but I do have a few tricks up my sleeve..and when I look back I will be able to say I sure did have a beautiful and fulling marriage...

Now I am off to court my husband ;D