Sunday, August 17, 2008

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING


While you were sleeping I sorted coupons, got my trains ready to send out, got photos for nana ready, edited and uploaded this weeks photos to my myspace, watched the marine and now am on Transporter 1 ..it's 4 am and I wish I could fall asleep...got a busy fun day planned for today (Sunday) I hope I am not tired though...I don't know why I have these nights where I just am not tired it's crazy but it's normal for me..well tomorrow lol today should be fun I probably will take way too many photos ..cleaned off both memory cards I just love taking photos of the girls and of things I see..will definitely be getting some awesome animal, kids and fair shots today..well I am off to veg on the couch see if I can fall asleep...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

HUSTLE BUSTLE ~ TRYING TO CLEAN UP AND GET THE OLD ME BACK

I THINK I AM A PRETTY EASY GOING PERSON...I BET I HAVE FRIENDS WHO TAKE A LOOK AT MY HOUSE AND THINK " SHE'S HOUSE WORK LAZY" LOL..I KNOW THEY THINK THIS IT SHOWS WHEN THEY COME BY AND EXCLAIM" WOW YOU CLEANED OR GOT ORGANIZED OR WHATEVER" I WASN'T ALWAYS THIS WAY..THE STORY OF MY CLEANING DEMISE...
I REMEMBER A TIME WHEN THE ONLY MESS IN MY TOWN HOUSE WAS THE GIRLS ROOM TOYS AND CLOTHES..NOT TOO BAD THOUGH...I WORKED FULL TIME OVER NIGHTS AND TOOK A DOUBLE MAJOR COURSE LOAD AT THE LOCAL COLLEGE...CRAZINESS BUT I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT..BUT I HAD SOME PAIN SEVERE AT TIMES IT CAME AND WENT BUT REPEATEDLY DIAGNOSED AS DIFFERENT THINGS..THEN I MET A GUY FELL IN LOVE AND GOT MARRIED A YEAR LATER AND THEN WE DECIDED TO HAVE A BABY AND BOOM I WAS SICKER THEN A DOG SLEEPING 23 HOURS A DAY FOR THE FIRST COUPLE MONTHS..PREGNANCY INDUCED MIGRAINES NO MORE SCHOOL TRIED ONLINE CLASSES BUT THE SITTING UP CAUSE PREMATURE LABOR SO ONLINE CLASSES DIDN'T WORK OUT EITHER..ANYWAYS IT WASN'T FUN...WE MOVED..FOR AWHILE HAVING 2 PLACES WE RENTED A SMALL APT IN A COMPLEX TO GET ON THE LIST FOR A 3BDRM APT IN A BETTER NEIGHBORHOOD..ANYWAYS MY TOWN HOUSE WAS SORTA LIKE A SHOW ROOM PLACE ALL OUR STUFF STAYED THERE EXCEPT FOR THE BARE ESSENTIALS..
EVENTUALLY WE CLEANED OUT THE TOWN HOUSE AND MOVED EVERYTHING INTO THE NEW PLACE THEN A 3BEDROOM CAME AVAILABLE..BY THIS TIME I HAD THE BABY HELEN AND I NEVER REALLY GOT MY GROOVE BACK..I HURT ALL THE TIME..YEARS LATER JULY 2007 I WAS FINALLY DIAGNOSED WITH FIBROMYALGIA A NAME FOR MY PAIN..AFTER 8 YEARS OF MISDIAGNOSISES AND ALSO MORBID SLEEP APNEA NO MAGIC CURE OR PILL ...SO I WASN'T SUDDENLY CURED... A YEAR AFTER DIAGNOSIS I HAVE CONSTANT PAIN..IT COMES AND GOES IN SEVERITY ..THE WORSE IS CALLED A FLARE ..IT'S LIKE A FIRE IT BUILDS UP SLOWLY AND THEN IT COMES TO FULL FLAME..ANYWAYS SO ON THOSE DAYS WHEN I HURT A LITTLE I DO WHAT I CAN I DON'T LIKE MY MESSY DISORGANIZED HOME.. I WOULD LOVE FOR MY DAUGHTERS TO UNDERSTAND THAT IF WE CLEAN AS WE MESS UP IT WOULD ALWAYS BE CLEAN..BUT SO FAR IT HASN'T SUNK IN..I'D LIKE FRO MY HUSBAND TO UNDERSTAND THAT I DO WHAT I CAN WHEN I CAN INSTEAD OF BITCHING ABOUT THE MESS OR THE KIDS TO ME TO BITCH AT THEM..IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY THAT I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON I WAS 8YEARS AGO I MISS THAT ME I AM WORKING ON GETTING THAT ME BACK.. SO WHEN I PUSH MYSELF TO THE POINT OF SEVERE PAIN FROM OVER EXERTING MYSELF TRYING TO LESSEN THE GUILT THAT I FEEL FOR PUTTING MORE WORK ON MY HUSBAND AND THE KIDS..I END UP MAKING LIFE WORSE..PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE FIBRO DON'T UNDERSTAND IT CAN'T EMPATHIZE WITH IT..YES MY HOUSE IS A MESS THERE IS LAUNDRY IN THE LIVING ROOM IN THE PROCESS OF BEING SORTED, TODAYS DISHES ARE SITTING IN THE SINK...MY TABLE IS COVERED IN SCRAP`BOOKING STUFF...BUT I AM WORKING ON IT...BUT I AM TAKING MY TIME AND ALSO TAKING ADVANTAGE OF FEELING GOOD ENOUGH TO CUDDLE MY LITTLE ONES TO CONVERSATE WITH MY OLDER GIRLS..MAYBE CUDDLE WITH MY HUSBAND BECAUSE THERE ARE DAYS WHEN I SLEEP ALL DAY, THERE ARE DAYS WHEN MY DAUGHTER HUGS ME AND JUST THE PRESSURE OF HER CHIN ON MY SHOULDER MAKES ME CRY OUT IN PAIN..FOLLOWING ALONG WITH THE GIRLS CHATTER OR STORY MAKES MY HEAD THROB OR I AM SO HOT THAT I FEEL LIKE I AM ON FIR AND CUDDLING WITH MY HUSBAND IS UNBEARABLE THESE ARE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT I WISH MY FAMILY UNDERSTOOD...BECAUSE FOR ALL THE CLEANING I DON'T DO AND RELY ON THEM TO DO MAKES IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO DO THE THINGS THAT I REALLY LONG TO DO...AND THAT IS NOT BEING IN PAIN SO I CAN ENJOY THEM..I ADMIT FOR A GOOD MANY YEARS I WAS LAZY WHEN IT CAME TO HOUSE WORK THIS PAST 6 MONTHS I AM TRYING TO GET MY CLEANING GROOVE BACK..SO HERE IS TO ME TRYING TO CLEAN UP..

Friday, July 18, 2008

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

looking back I never would of thought I'd feel this way..but in all honesty I can't do it anymore..I don't see any hope for her, I don't think her life will get any better as she grows up...she asks for help and I thought maybe she had matured but she doesn't take her pills, she lies about peeing the bed...and overall she is just a miserable unlikeable person..a psychiatrist's, a counselor and a year and a half straight of therapy, numerous medical tests...it is not going to change a thing..it disgusts me to no end..it breaks my heart because she was planned, she was wanted, she was loved...I sat by her incubator for a week praying that she wouldn't die..and she lived but she's not really living...she knows no love, no empathy, no friendship, no loyalty nor trust..no patience no kindness no charity...she is self centered, uncaring, hateful, hurtful, distrustful and selfish.. the time has come to find her someplace else to live..I don't want to spend what little time I have left on earth with such a miserable person...I've looked into boarding schools, military schools and a youth home...a permanent decision will be made before the other kids go back to school..nothing short of a miracle would help her..it's sad because she is young, has a whole life ahead of her so much wasted potential....but it's sad to say I don't know if anyone would miss her

A HOUSE FULL OF GIRLS

Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe

There was an old woman
who lived in a shoe;
She had so many children
she didn't know what to do.

She gave them some broth
without any bread,
She spanked them all soundly
and sent them to bed.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Anderson family 4th of July 2008



I thought that such a long day would be tiring but the day pretty much flowed together perfectly..only with minor bitching from the resident bitchy family members..my favorite new saying is "quityourbitchin" all one word ..anyways a rundown of our 4th of July...
first Adam got home from work @ 7AM (he works overnights) next it was time to awaken the crew..
and then drop Kate at work @ 9AM then we hit walmart and picked up some stuff for the beach later..next we headed to the Kalispell parade where we met Whammer and gang..
then @ 10AM we watched the parade..then headed to Conrad Mansion @11AM for a Ice cream social.. then it was a quick stop to the grocery store to pick up some food items for our picnic..next it was Woodland water park @ 12:30PM it was our first time there and I was really impressed ..the kiddie wading pool was a ton of fun the babies didn't know what to think of it..it's kinda of difficult to watch 4 kids under 5 by myself...definitely would be easier with another adult around...then it was off to home quick BBQ dinner and then to the beach...which is one of my favorite places in Montana I just love Whitefish beach..anyways water was a little choppy cause we had a little rain between Water park and the time we headed to the beach but Adam went along it was fun whammer met us out there...we stayed and watched the fireworks...took way too many photos which seems to be the norm with me ..anyways it was a great day tons of memories..living life to the fullest...and loving every second of it

Thursday, July 3, 2008

JULY THE MONTH AMERICA CELEBRATES ITS FREEDOM ~ I AM CELEBRATING MY FREEDOM FROM A MESSY HOUSE AND UNHELPFUL CHILDREN..

AS I WALK IN THE DOOR I AM GREETED BY A MESS..
NOW WITH SEVEN DAUGHTERS YOU PROBABLY SAY WELL OF COURSE YOUR HOUSE IS PROBABLY MESSY WITH ALL THOSE KIDS RUNNING AROUND..
WELL IN MY OPINION IT SHOULDN'T BE SO MESSY...
NOW HAVING TEENAGERS SOME ASSUME THAT THEY WOULD PITCH IN ..
IT'S MORE LIKE THEY PITCH A FIT WHEN ASKED TO DO ANYTHING...
NOW IF THEY WANT SOMETHING THEN THAT IS A DIFFERENT STORY..
PERSONALLY I ENVISION A TEAM EFFORT FLOW~ ROUTINE IN HARMONY..
OK MAYBE PERSONALITY WISE THEY CAN'T DO IT IN HARMONY..
BUT SERIOUSLY IT CAN BE SO SIMPLE YET SUCH LITTLE TASKS CAUSE A HUGE UPROAR ..
ok so hours later as I've been multi~tasking sending out Happy 4th of July comments to friends..cleaning off my scrap~booking table, doing piles of laundry sorting laundry for seven kids, pulling out winter clothes..tossing clothes that is stained..it's been a long day..a trip to the dump..plus it's hotter then hell..
so as of July 3rd I have accomplished cleaning off my table..and have countless loads of laundry taken care of ..you can see my laundry room floor.. I only threatened the teens about 10 times so about once a hour..the joys of motherhood..

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Happy Birthday to me

So I had big plans to escape parenting for the day but that's a dream..instead I play chauffeur picking up and dropping off..and looks like I won't escape until 1PM ...I just wanted one day to my self...more like need one day to myself..oh well Happy birthday to me