Wednesday, November 24, 2010
A Sad Fairwell............
When Command put the word out that Sgt Blazer had died in an accident while hiking on a marriage retreat like every one else I had instant disbelief. He was young, healthy, friendly and cute no way I just talked to him the other morning we joked about it being too cold, too early to be out with dogs joking about dog poop and our dogs that was our last conversation...but I will forever be grateful that I have that memory of him laughing and busting jokes...
The first time since the accident that I saw his wife Denise was 2 days after the accident I brought dinner over to her ..
never in my life have I stood at the commissary praying to make the right dinner decision what do you make someone for dinner who just lost their husband in such a tragedy..I stood there wondering if I make this will it upset her, does she hate this food, what does she like, will this remind her of her husband in some way the last thing I wanted to do is hurt or upset her.
I made a pot of beef stew I'll admit I high fived myself when I later heard she actually ate it and loved it..later I did a shift on the care team and what I learned in my few hours there with her was that she actually made me feel better how so you might wonder well one she told many stories of life with her husband, she laughed, joked and just made things easy.
One of my biggest things was the holidays coming up the truth is after the death of a loved one life does go on with Thanksgiving fast approaching I had guilt over the idea of her being hurt by people celebrating around her it was a wasted thought..she talked about the previous holidays and how much fun they had.
Command had a memorial service here on Post at the battalions hanger it was rough I saw many of our friends struggling to hold back tears, the video photos were wonderful but roll call crushed me as we walked up front to pay our respects I left my double interlocking heart earring on top of the dozens of name tags left by the soldiers..to me the one sole earring I have will be a constant reminder of their love and to live each day to the fullest, to savor moments with my husband, my girls and my friends..
Denise was able to get Blazer back to the states during the week of Thanksgiving which I know was a relief to her and the rest of his family now he is home in his final resting place.
Thanksgiving came we had a huge group about 30 people most of them guys from Blazers Co I will tell you this never in my life have I been so impressed it was a great holiday and the guys who knew Blazer shared some stories..
Christmas is right around the corner I still have the nagging guilt that celebrating will bother her but I know Denise would say thanks for the thoughts but knock it off and celebrate Christmas like you are meant too..
I am proud to call her my friend she truly has been an inspiration to me and to many of our friends. She has a strength that astounds me and I pray if I ever were in her shoes to be half as strong as her.
What I hope people take away from this is what Denise said to me right before I walked out the door..Live life, don't put things off, Love, tell people you love them, Laugh, have fun, hug.. you never know what could happen the next minute or right around the next corner...
So I say to you I love you..pass it on to the people you love....