I was lucky enough to grow up in a Military family my dad was in the Air Force. Now that my husband has joined the Army, I find myself thankful for having that life experience to pull from. When my husband "Pachenko" decided to join the Army I was excited especially since I suggested it years ago when we first met lol I just love those I told you so moments. We currently live in Montana we moved here from New York State a little over three years ago I was looking for a community, the small town feeling that I lost when my dad retired. I love living in Montana and up until Pachenko brought the idea to the family discussion table I would of said we would of lived in Montana forever. I look at Military life as a adventure the chance to travel, explore the USA and abroad to meet new people and learn new things.
When we were sure that Pachenko was definitely joining, we informed our family and friends. The announcement was met with mixed reviews our families were both very supportive as I mentioned my father is retired Air Force but so is Pachenkos stepfather. However, our friends were Leary even my co-workers were it is amazing how something so honorable can bring out such negativity. One of the questions that came from friends was “why would you want to go get yourself killed for?" now seriously no one in their right mind signs up to get killed intentionally. I just don't understand some people’s views on the military. When did being honorable and wanting to serve, defend and protect our country become such a bad thing?
Another thing I hear directed at me is “what are you going to do?" "How are you going to handle taking care of the kids while he's gone?" after I laugh to myself I can't help but think these people really don't know me at all. I will be fine, I will do what I have done every day of my parenting life. I will take care of my daughters, I will pay the bills, cook meals, wash laundry, read bedtime stories, watch every ELMO movie ever made, have play dates, lunch with a girlfriend, go to the park, take the kids to school, plan Holidays, sleepovers and write lots of to do lists. Why is it assumed that as women we can't handle our husbands being gone? My husband and I are partners in our marriage neither one of us is in charge. I don't slave over the stove baking cookies all day while he works and balances the check book we are not stereotypical Ward and June Cleaver. We both work inside and outside our home to make our family work. I know how to run the household because not knowing how to do these things is not being a responsible parent.
My husband said to me that he is not worried about me not being able to handle things while he is gone it was a proud moment for me. I like the fact that my husband knows that I can take care of our daughters and myself if he were not around. I have always felt that it takes a special type of woman to be a military wife you have to be emotionally strong, independent, secure, confident, faithful and patient.
My husband is leaving on the 21st of September he will miss Halloween, Thanksgiving and Easter luckily he will be home for Christmas. He will miss a couple birthdays 4 to be exact but even though he won't be there physically we know we are loved and he is doing what he needs to do for our family. I have joined some groups on Cafe mom and met some very nice military wives. I also started blogging more on my BlogSpot so that way I have a place to say whatever is on my mind.
I have been talking to a military wife who has no prior military life experience. She asked me "How can you be so calm? I am going crazy" Well my answer was simple I look at my husband’s time away as something we have to go through to get to the good stuff find the positives job security, medical insurance, travel, housing and the military family. I also am a firm believer in HOBBIES I honestly can say I have never been bored a day in my life I look forward to having nothing to do so I can do the things I love to do. Example Cuddling with my twins, reading, blogging, photography, texting a friend, writing a letter, scrapbooking, watching a movie, reading a stack of magazines, relaxing or playing a board game with the kids...
Something that I preach about is ORGANIZATION! I suggest to any parent make TO DO LISTS they are great I have a running to do list everyday if I don't get something done I move it onto the next day. I also have specific to do lists
1. What I want to get done before my husband gets back from AIT
2. What items I want to move with us if we PSC (in the USA) example we get orders to the hottest place on earth do I really need to take 100 sweaters I bought while living in Montana? lol probably not
3. What I want to take with us if we PSC (overseas) Do I really want to bring the dresser that weighs a ton but is falling a part? Nope
4. What I want to do or see in our hometown before we PSC. There is always someplace you think back on and say " I wish we would of went ____ before we moved.
After reading every possible article, blog and post I could find on military life, surviving deployment and being a military wife I thought of a couple things to add to the list
1. Discuss everything with your husband go over finances, important paper work, make wills and do a power of attorney.
2. Get organized have two calendars 1 for your appointments and 1 for all the bills you need to take care.
3. Have hobbies, interests if you don't take time out for yourself you might begin to feel resentful of your spouse.
4. If you need something don't be afraid to ask for help.
I am looking forward to this new adventure in our lives I know we will become stronger as individuals and as a family. I am a proud Army wife and a strong capable mother. I hope my daughters enjoy growing up in a military family as much as I did. I think that as a parent it is important to teach our kids not only by books but also by life lessons and experiences. It is never too late to learn something new and I am always up to a new challenge. I have always felt it is important to give back to the community I hope that people can read my blog and use some tidbit of information from it but also I am looking forward to hearing from other military wives to see how they are coping. I have always said life is like a roller coaster ride ups, downs, twists and turns you never know what is around the next corner it is one wild ride...hope that you follow along it's bound to be a interesting ride.
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