I THINK I AM A PRETTY EASY GOING PERSON...I BET I HAVE FRIENDS WHO TAKE A LOOK AT MY HOUSE AND THINK " SHE'S HOUSE WORK LAZY" LOL..I KNOW THEY THINK THIS IT SHOWS WHEN THEY COME BY AND EXCLAIM" WOW YOU CLEANED OR GOT ORGANIZED OR WHATEVER" I WASN'T ALWAYS THIS WAY..THE STORY OF MY CLEANING DEMISE...
I REMEMBER A TIME WHEN THE ONLY MESS IN MY TOWN HOUSE WAS THE GIRLS ROOM TOYS AND CLOTHES..NOT TOO BAD THOUGH...I WORKED FULL TIME OVER NIGHTS AND TOOK A DOUBLE MAJOR COURSE LOAD AT THE LOCAL COLLEGE...CRAZINESS BUT I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT..BUT I HAD SOME PAIN SEVERE AT TIMES IT CAME AND WENT BUT REPEATEDLY DIAGNOSED AS DIFFERENT THINGS..THEN I MET A GUY FELL IN LOVE AND GOT MARRIED A YEAR LATER AND THEN WE DECIDED TO HAVE A BABY AND BOOM I WAS SICKER THEN A DOG SLEEPING 23 HOURS A DAY FOR THE FIRST COUPLE MONTHS..PREGNANCY INDUCED MIGRAINES NO MORE SCHOOL TRIED ONLINE CLASSES BUT THE SITTING UP CAUSE PREMATURE LABOR SO ONLINE CLASSES DIDN'T WORK OUT EITHER..ANYWAYS IT WASN'T FUN...WE MOVED..FOR AWHILE HAVING 2 PLACES WE RENTED A SMALL APT IN A COMPLEX TO GET ON THE LIST FOR A 3BDRM APT IN A BETTER NEIGHBORHOOD..ANYWAYS MY TOWN HOUSE WAS SORTA LIKE A SHOW ROOM PLACE ALL OUR STUFF STAYED THERE EXCEPT FOR THE BARE ESSENTIALS..
EVENTUALLY WE CLEANED OUT THE TOWN HOUSE AND MOVED EVERYTHING INTO THE NEW PLACE THEN A 3BEDROOM CAME AVAILABLE..BY THIS TIME I HAD THE BABY HELEN AND I NEVER REALLY GOT MY GROOVE BACK..I HURT ALL THE TIME..YEARS LATER JULY 2007 I WAS FINALLY DIAGNOSED WITH FIBROMYALGIA A NAME FOR MY PAIN..AFTER 8 YEARS OF MISDIAGNOSISES AND ALSO MORBID SLEEP APNEA NO MAGIC CURE OR PILL ...SO I WASN'T SUDDENLY CURED... A YEAR AFTER DIAGNOSIS I HAVE CONSTANT PAIN..IT COMES AND GOES IN SEVERITY ..THE WORSE IS CALLED A FLARE ..IT'S LIKE A FIRE IT BUILDS UP SLOWLY AND THEN IT COMES TO FULL FLAME..ANYWAYS SO ON THOSE DAYS WHEN I HURT A LITTLE I DO WHAT I CAN I DON'T LIKE MY MESSY DISORGANIZED HOME.. I WOULD LOVE FOR MY DAUGHTERS TO UNDERSTAND THAT IF WE CLEAN AS WE MESS UP IT WOULD ALWAYS BE CLEAN..BUT SO FAR IT HASN'T SUNK IN..I'D LIKE FRO MY HUSBAND TO UNDERSTAND THAT I DO WHAT I CAN WHEN I CAN INSTEAD OF BITCHING ABOUT THE MESS OR THE KIDS TO ME TO BITCH AT THEM..IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY THAT I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON I WAS 8YEARS AGO I MISS THAT ME I AM WORKING ON GETTING THAT ME BACK.. SO WHEN I PUSH MYSELF TO THE POINT OF SEVERE PAIN FROM OVER EXERTING MYSELF TRYING TO LESSEN THE GUILT THAT I FEEL FOR PUTTING MORE WORK ON MY HUSBAND AND THE KIDS..I END UP MAKING LIFE WORSE..PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE FIBRO DON'T UNDERSTAND IT CAN'T EMPATHIZE WITH IT..YES MY HOUSE IS A MESS THERE IS LAUNDRY IN THE LIVING ROOM IN THE PROCESS OF BEING SORTED, TODAYS DISHES ARE SITTING IN THE SINK...MY TABLE IS COVERED IN SCRAP`BOOKING STUFF...BUT I AM WORKING ON IT...BUT I AM TAKING MY TIME AND ALSO TAKING ADVANTAGE OF FEELING GOOD ENOUGH TO CUDDLE MY LITTLE ONES TO CONVERSATE WITH MY OLDER GIRLS..MAYBE CUDDLE WITH MY HUSBAND BECAUSE THERE ARE DAYS WHEN I SLEEP ALL DAY, THERE ARE DAYS WHEN MY DAUGHTER HUGS ME AND JUST THE PRESSURE OF HER CHIN ON MY SHOULDER MAKES ME CRY OUT IN PAIN..FOLLOWING ALONG WITH THE GIRLS CHATTER OR STORY MAKES MY HEAD THROB OR I AM SO HOT THAT I FEEL LIKE I AM ON FIR AND CUDDLING WITH MY HUSBAND IS UNBEARABLE THESE ARE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT I WISH MY FAMILY UNDERSTOOD...BECAUSE FOR ALL THE CLEANING I DON'T DO AND RELY ON THEM TO DO MAKES IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO DO THE THINGS THAT I REALLY LONG TO DO...AND THAT IS NOT BEING IN PAIN SO I CAN ENJOY THEM..I ADMIT FOR A GOOD MANY YEARS I WAS LAZY WHEN IT CAME TO HOUSE WORK THIS PAST 6 MONTHS I AM TRYING TO GET MY CLEANING GROOVE BACK..SO HERE IS TO ME TRYING TO CLEAN UP..
